I just feel really nonexistent and I've decided to stop thinking so maybe that has something to do with it because I don't like traps and the second I think something it swallows me and I become something not a somebody only the thought and what it says about me and then I am distanced from reality which is scary because I think everybody else knows more about me. Even though I am nobody not even a nobody just nothing. I still feel larger than the room but that will always be me even though I've decided nothing is me. I can't just be. Or maybe I am the only be and no one else is a anything. Like how everyone has a different definition of colors, no not at all, just that I don't understand anythings and don't know how to think about it.