4.4.09


I just feel really nonexistent and I've decided to stop thinking so maybe that has something to do with it because I don't like traps and the second I think something it swallows me and I become something not a somebody only the thought and what it says about me and then I am distanced from reality which is scary because I think everybody else knows more about me.  Even though I am nobody not even a nobody just nothing.  I still feel larger than the room but that will always be me even though I've decided nothing is me.  I can't just be.  Or maybe I am the only be and no one else is a anything.  Like how everyone has a different definition of colors, no not at all, just that I don't understand anythings and don't know how to think about it.

5 comments:

  1. I think this goes back to what you were saying about metacognition being the root of all your problems. Sometimes that just comes form being very intelligent,as you clearly are.

    Hang in there:). Don't stop thinking. Just try, hard as it may be, to avoid the metacognitive trap.

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  2. My philosophy teacher was talking about metacognition ( I must have missed your post about it) and I tried for a day to think about everything I was doing, but then I had difficulty tying my shoes and buttoning my shirt because I was thinking about it too much. I believe it is necessary to meet somewhere in the middle...

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  3. Gah. I understand in some way. Everyone has their ups and downs and everyone gets lost in themselves.
    I'm sure you'll get back on your feet soon :)
    keep on smilingggg

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  4. You're brilliant.
    I know what you mean, sometimes its like thinking about your bretahing, and then all of a sudden you feel like you cant breathe and you're not getting in enough air and you're ohgolly I need to stop thinking about this, but you can't.
    /breathes.

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